In Huntingdonshire a Major non-event
Has the people there suffering a lament
Give John a bone
Ask him to stay at home
He will most likely be alone!

In his wildest dreams 
And fantastic schemes
The PM is the wettest of heroes
But voters’ myopia 
Is deeper than mere tomorrows
He will be the last of wet blues.

In the Anglia Homeland
There is a political strand
That only reaches as far as Major
No one drives a tank better
Otherwise, why vote for a loser
He will retire sooner than later.